Attention female friends:
I think there is some confusion here. Some of you talk to me and
try to handle our friendship as if I were your dude. Let me help you out.
...I'm not. I am your FEMALE FRIEND. Therefore you cannot get in
your feelings when I do/don’t do the following:
1.
Don't tell you ALL my plans. I don’t belong to you. I don’t owe
you any type of explanation as to who I’m with and where I’m going. Whatever I
share with you is privileged. If you see me in an IG or FB pic with another
friend, don’t text me talkin’ bout “Oh, looks like y’all had fun”. What that
really means is “Oh B*&$%, I know you didn’t just go to (insert location)
with (insert other friend) and didn’t ask me though!!!” Don’t forget I know
you, so I know what your sayings REALLY mean.
2.
Don’t drop ALL my plans for you. I have a life and 80% of the
time, yes, if my husband needs me, then I’m going to go with him or do whatever
he requires. Don’t try to put me on the guilt trip for something I’m supposed
to do. If you are my friend, you were there on 10/10/10 when I made these vows
so don’t act surprised now. If you weren’t there then shame on you.
3.
Don’t feed your ego. That’s what the dudes are for I guess. They
are supposed to shower you with all that cute mushy stuff and then seal it with
the “D”. Don’t come around here fishing for compliments, you’ll get your
feelings hurt every time. Now I’m comfortable with myself and am secure enough
to pay compliments when I feel they are due and warranted. Just don’t stand on
my forehead and ask me if I like your red bottoms.
4.
Keep quiet when you’re wrong. I’ve done that enough when I was a
child and I don’t think I’m reverting back anytime soon. Now I have no problem
trying to be as diplomatic as possible but the truth is the truth. The WMATA
metro slogan says “See it, say it” right? Well, I’ll admit that I’m a product
of my environment in that aspect. I’ve been riding the metro all my life and I
feel like that slogan has resonated with me. If I see something I’m calling it out.
Why? Because I’d rather spot it and keep you safe only to find out it’s just a
bag than to keep ignore it and find out it’s a bomb. See what I did there? I
invite you to do the same with me. I welcome it, honestly.
5.
Sugarcoating. Yeah soooooo, my husband is the baker (Shout out to
BILLY BAKES LLC…don’t judge me, just buy cake). He has a way of just making
life a little bit more palpable. That’s probably why God paired us up. He’s the
sweet, introspective and patient one. I am not. I married a man that balances
me out…and you should do the same. Don’t look for your me or other female
friends to solely do that for you. I was not made to be your counterpart and I
was not made to make you feel comfortable. I am your friend, I was made to make
you better. Real friendships do that. We’re not always going to giggle and
dance. We will cry and yell (Together and/or at each other), and you must
understand that it’s all in a day’s work. Well a life’s work really. Just know
that through it all I do love you. I promise I do. I can also promise that 99%
of the time I wasn’t trying to be mean. If I’m blunt with you that means I
care. When I don’t care, I say nothing at all. You should know I don’t like to
waste words.
6.
Don’t have much to say to you. That does sound kind of mean. Hear
me out though. It’s no slight to you. A lot of times I’m going through my own
quiet storm and if I know I’m not in the mood or right head space to
communicate with you effectively or respectfully then I’ll fall back. I love
you enough to prevent offending you. There will be times I do it and I won’t
catch it and I apologize but if I’m within my power to spare our friendship
from hits…I will. My silence is my dozen yellow roses.
I listed all this to basically say that you cannot hold me to a
standard that I was not made to carry out. I understand you want affection,
attention, and all that cute stuff. I know because I’m a chick and I want all
that too…but when you lack those things, don’t come to me to give it to you.
You’ll set me up for failure and just get in your feelings. That’s what your
man is for. He can better provide those things. I want those things for you and
what I listed might help you to get the fortitude to go to him to get what
you want.
No hard feelings,
Cam <3
