Mane.

Marriage is...

…a bank. You can’t take out what you didn’t put in or you’ll go negative. Deposit happiness and you will be available to withdrawl it when needed.

What a girl wants...but what a woman needs...

From the beginning of life as we know it, each gender is given cues to the role they will play in society. The males are established as the protectors and providers, females are the homemakers. Little boys are given weapons or tool-like toys to play with so they can save the world from “bad guys” and fix/build things. Meanwhile, girls are off somewhere playing with their ”babydolls” and tapping into the idea of motherhood.  Before we even know the meaning/purpose of our own lives prospectively we are encouraged to give or nuture life. Not knocking it, just an observation. I digress. We are subconsciously playing house before nasty lil boys come around and confine “house” to mimicking grown up activity. Don’t lie, you played house and got grown too. ;-)  

Taking into account the current “sexual revolution”, I would say that a rough 80% of the world subconsciously divide and/or define themselves by their gender role (my own personal stats of course).

When having a conversation with my “Lyddiebug” yesterday I shared my thoughts on how we as young woman view the role of the man and how the man actually views his role. With men, it is a very narrow scope. They just leave it at physical protection and monetary provision. That is a part of it and most time the beginning but that’s not where it ends. Women are multi-faceted so of course we need different things for different parts of our being. We need emotional, mental, sexual AND physical protection. Don’t just take a bullet for us, get tested and know your status to keep us both safe. Don’t just move on the side closer to the street, let us know that you’ve heard our fears and concerns and address them accordingly. Protect our minds, hearts, as well as our bodies. If it’s a thirsty chick somewhere being extra and not respecting the fact that we’re together…protect the relationship, make us feel like you have seen a potential attack/infiltration and have moved on our behalf. Don’t just protect with your stature, your posture really starts in the mind so if you want to protect us…think a little more…and a little harder.  

Now provision, depending upon the woman she just might want your money. For the scope of this post we’re not talking about gold-diggers, just regular everyday women trying to make it on their own. For the self-respecting female, provision isn’t just monetary it ties in a lot with protection. Provision can be as simple as helping to maintain an atmosphere and environment that’s conducive for happy living and growth. To let you in on a little secret, foreplay doesn’t start in the bed. For women, it can start when we’re walking down the street. For me personally, if my husband and I are walking and a man looks at me as if he likes what he sees…the sexiest response from my husband would be to grab my hand and hold it tight. Men don’t quite get the gravity of something that simple but trust me it goes a long way. Not only did you stake your claim and showed affection at the same time…you actually reacted to something *gasp*. You’ve showed us that you CAN be affected by something and though it’s not as emotional as we would like, we notice and we appreciate it. We know that you still want us and have acknowledged that someone else might too. This motivates you to value what you have a little bit more than before. That’s protection AND provision with a cherry on top. Simple enough right?

Instead of tallying up our “complaints” or ”concerns” to equal it to nagging, just stop and think about the potential cause. Everything we ask for stems from: protection and provision. If we are not happy in a certain area of the relationship, I’m willing to bet it trickled down from some area left undone from those two aspects. Don’t get smart with us, be smart with us. Learn the woman you love and I promise things will go a lot smoother. Don’t give her what she wants, girls throw tantrums for what they want. Give that woman what she needs. Please and thank you.