Not your boyfriend...

Attention female friends:

 

I think there is some confusion here. Some of you talk to me and try to handle our friendship as if I were your dude. Let me help you out.

...I'm not. I am your FEMALE FRIEND. Therefore you cannot get in your feelings when I do/don’t do the following:

 

1.     Don't tell you ALL my plans. I don’t belong to you. I don’t owe you any type of explanation as to who I’m with and where I’m going. Whatever I share with you is privileged. If you see me in an IG or FB pic with another friend, don’t text me talkin’ bout “Oh, looks like y’all had fun”. What that really means is “Oh B*&$%, I know you didn’t just go to (insert location) with (insert other friend) and didn’t ask me though!!!” Don’t forget I know you, so I know what your sayings REALLY mean.  

2.     Don’t drop ALL my plans for you. I have a life and 80% of the time, yes, if my husband needs me, then I’m going to go with him or do whatever he requires. Don’t try to put me on the guilt trip for something I’m supposed to do. If you are my friend, you were there on 10/10/10 when I made these vows so don’t act surprised now. If you weren’t there then shame on you.

3.     Don’t feed your ego. That’s what the dudes are for I guess. They are supposed to shower you with all that cute mushy stuff and then seal it with the “D”. Don’t come around here fishing for compliments, you’ll get your feelings hurt every time. Now I’m comfortable with myself and am secure enough to pay compliments when I feel they are due and warranted. Just don’t stand on my forehead and ask me if I like your red bottoms.

4.     Keep quiet when you’re wrong. I’ve done that enough when I was a child and I don’t think I’m reverting back anytime soon. Now I have no problem trying to be as diplomatic as possible but the truth is the truth. The WMATA metro slogan says “See it, say it” right? Well, I’ll admit that I’m a product of my environment in that aspect. I’ve been riding the metro all my life and I feel like that slogan has resonated with me. If I see something I’m calling it out. Why? Because I’d rather spot it and keep you safe only to find out it’s just a bag than to keep ignore it and find out it’s a bomb. See what I did there? I invite you to do the same with me. I welcome it, honestly.

5.     Sugarcoating. Yeah soooooo, my husband is the baker (Shout out to BILLY BAKES LLC…don’t judge me, just buy cake). He has a way of just making life a little bit more palpable. That’s probably why God paired us up. He’s the sweet, introspective and patient one. I am not. I married a man that balances me out…and you should do the same. Don’t look for your me or other female friends to solely do that for you. I was not made to be your counterpart and I was not made to make you feel comfortable. I am your friend, I was made to make you better. Real friendships do that. We’re not always going to giggle and dance. We will cry and yell (Together and/or at each other), and you must understand that it’s all in a day’s work. Well a life’s work really. Just know that through it all I do love you. I promise I do. I can also promise that 99% of the time I wasn’t trying to be mean. If I’m blunt with you that means I care. When I don’t care, I say nothing at all. You should know I don’t like to waste words.

6.     Don’t have much to say to you. That does sound kind of mean. Hear me out though. It’s no slight to you. A lot of times I’m going through my own quiet storm and if I know I’m not in the mood or right head space to communicate with you effectively or respectfully then I’ll fall back. I love you enough to prevent offending you. There will be times I do it and I won’t catch it and I apologize but if I’m within my power to spare our friendship from hits…I will. My silence is my dozen yellow roses.

I listed all this to basically say that you cannot hold me to a standard that I was not made to carry out. I understand you want affection, attention, and all that cute stuff. I know because I’m a chick and I want all that too…but when you lack those things, don’t come to me to give it to you. You’ll set me up for failure and just get in your feelings. That’s what your man is for. He can better provide those things. I want those things for you and what I listed might help you to get the fortitude to go to him to get what you want.

 

No hard feelings,

Cam <3