Snippet of my pregnancy series...

Week 20- I can't see my vagina!!! She and I have always been able to look at each other just to let each other know we're alright and I can't see her anymore. We are so far away. :-( 

I guess that's God's way of deterring me from seeing what really happens down there when I'm pushing. I trust He knows best on that one.

 Let's see...my stomach is extremely round but still a petite basketball size, it's cute. My appetite has picked up and it is regular again. I'm at my normal level of mass consumption, yay! When my food is compromised, I'm not happy. The only thing I haven't really grown to accept about this stage in my pregnancy is these dang leg cramps. Sciatica is what my doc said. It's literally the pain in my butt. To get even more literal, it will get worse as the baby grows because the weight of the baby will press more on my sciatic nerve so my baby will continuously get on my nerves. Ha! 

I feel flutters. She favors my left side and let's me know when she hears a sound she doesn't like.

 Oh yeah...we found out we're having a girl. I could've sworn it was a boy. I'm not quite sure why but it was just a feeling. A wrong one. My instinct failed me. Oops. So I said I would be satisfied either way as long as the baby was healthy and I am. I would be lying though if I said that I wasn't the slightest bit disappointed. 

I've always been so good with boys. I've grown up with them, practically grown up as one via tomboy. I wanted my first born to be the boy. The one to protect his younger siblings, to be the head of my offspring and mirror his dad as head of the house. I know there's a 50/50 chance of having a girl so I shouldn't really be surprised. If she has my tenacity and Bill's demeanor, we should be fine. She would be a good protector, regardless of gender.

 I'm just not ready to deal with periods and heartache my first go round. I was looking more for permanently lifted toilet seats and mud collected in places the washcloth can't reach. A good ol' All-American boy but I will shift my expectations to raise a lady. I don't mind a girl.

 I always shunned girly things because I wasn't familiar with them. I fear that I'll have trouble being a lady trying to teach a girl what a lady should be. I didn't get bit with the femininity bug until I got married and that was four years ago. I have twenty-three years of catching up before I meet her in four months. Ugh I hate math and I hate dresses!!!! 

I will learn to like them. If not for me, for her. I have to be the woman I'd want her to end up as and the woman that any man would love to have so she can marry a guy like her dad. 

You know, that subconscious drive woman carry that makes us more prone to hooking up with guys that make us feel protected like daddy? In some way or another we all want to be Daddy's Little Girl. We either go looking for him or in some cases especially in our extremely liberal world, we end up trying to be him JUST to prove we did need him. 

Girls...oh boy. 

We shall see how this works. I just hope I don't fail my little princess by clouding her head with sports stats and showing proper uppercut technique. Maybe she'll be a Laila Ali, minus that freakishly deep voice.