Thursday, January 2, 2014

Social Caterpillar: Social Media Sabbatical

 
To fully understand the reason for this "experiment"/case study whatchamacallit I'll give you background reasons for the birth of such an idea. Time and time again, my friends and I have debated whether social media is the biggest oxymoron to date. Facebook, MySpace, BlackPlanet (are people still on that?) are digital rolodexes that allow you to access people's lives directly. Forget the phone numbers, you can see their address history, current location, even know what music they will listen to in the next day-and-a-half based off of their current soundtrack and trends. 
 
Here's a little history. Remember a little thing called the Patriot Act, circa 2001? You know, the thing that allows Uncle Sam, John Brown, and whoever else that wants access to you to gain it without question? Yeah, they implemented that after 9/11. Sadly, most of us believe this to be a myth. A myth?! This is real life law. I could "look" suspicious or don a name that sounds of foreign origin and become target of scrutiny under the government's microscope.
 
It's strange how conspiracy theorists are scared of satellites, and ATM cameras, when really it is the information you willingly divulge that you should've guarded for dear life. Though not through a literal lens, you my dear are STILL BEING WATCHED *cue Twilight theme*.
 
Would you stand naked in front of your window at home with the blinds open, then say "Hey you! Peeping Tom! How DARE you look at me?!" No? Well then don't leave yourself vulnerable on social media networks then get mad when everyone under the sun (especially the CIA) can access your being.
 
Okay, now that I've freaked you out a bit and gotten some of your attention you'll see why this all makes sense.
 
In these days you are deemed social because of how often you check someone's page. Come on. How many times have you heard, "hit me up on Facebook" instead of "let me get your number"? I must admit, I was guilty of this. If I ran into a mere associate or "old friend" and I didn't want to be rude and just walk away with no real goal to keep in touch, I gave the Facebook option just so I wouldn't seem cold *puts head in hands*.
 
Being social used to be based on the actual effort you put into your social life. If someone was seen at all the hot spots in town or with a group of people, they were heralded "social butterflies". The number of people in your crew or clique was what set you apart from the squares and lames. The bigger the crew, the more you knew, therefore YOU were at your social peak. Now that's just overkill. Most people don't RSVP to events and forget about their invitations to social gatherings unless you send them an EVITE or create a group/event on social media. I'll tell you what...if you want me to come anywhere with you, you better call me and ask. My short-term memory is very selective and likes when you go the extra mile, it remembers better that way. ;-)
 
So after all my historical and overly critical ranting...the summary of my study! *points below*
 
 
On October 1st (ironically the beginning of the fiscal year AND the beginning of the gov't shutdown/furlough, purely coincidental) I set out to do away with Facebook, Instagram, and any other social media network for one month. Chat apps were acceptable and permissible because they required no profile page, they are limited to people in your current phone contacts and their capabilities were the equivalent to texting. For that reason I kept my GroupMe app.
 
Before leaving my pages I gave my friends the option of keeping in contact with me via phone. I posted a status on facebook and picture on Instagram that gave at least two weeks notice of my network departure.
 
The study itself technically started when notifying people of my departure. I had to note initial reactions and attitudes to my impending departure. Then as time went on without the actual network I recorded the personal effects and social effects (negative and positive) without social media.
 
I didn't do a day by day play, I tried to ignore the fact that I didn't have access to my networks for a little while. I needed to get over the initial shock of being without. You KNOW I had a whole bunch of things I wanted to say via status about the shutdown and get people's thoughts but I refrained, only venting to those who I had phone or face-to-face contact with. I shared my actual written notes throughout the study, I will have hindsight commentary after each note and then put my overall observations of the study at the end.
 

The study...or something of the like...

My exit status I posted on Facebook was something to the effect of me leaving social media to put more time into things I care about. Oddly, people who had known me longer supported the decision either by liking the status or writing their best wishes in the comment section. One friend even put "I'll miss you but I know if you're doing it, it's for good reason". Comments like that made "Oh, you'll be back!" sting less. Did people think I was THAT shallow I couldn't live without my precious digital picture book? One person even felt the need to defend themselves in my status. Hmm. My status was only notification of my future plans but this person took my choice as a slight to their conscious decision to stay on social media. "Well I stay on here to keep in touch with my loved ones and see how my friends are doing", one of my "friends" said. That "well" at the beginning of the comment was obvious rebuttal but for what? Did my choice make people uncomfortable because it forced them to look at their own reasons for keeping their personal pages? We shall see. Post Oct 1st...
 
 
DAY 10- No social media during gov't shutdown. Not planned, just happened this way. Even though my occupational info was visible on web page and all "friends" had access to see it. Not many reached out to me during furlough to see if I was affected. Only four people. These four are people I text on a weekly basis.
 
Some even thought my decision to get off of social media was rebellion as a result of the shutdown. I mean I get my activist on every now and then but please, don't give me all that credit. I'm not that much of a maverick.
 
 
DAY 15- I feel lonely. I don't "see" any of the people in my news feed and still feel like not "seeing" them on Facebook, I'm not connected to them. I don't know their thoughts, how they feel about anything. Their hang-ups, their gripes, their happy notes...nothing.
 
I treated my news feed as the morning paper. I got my current events, public opinion, and even did an unofficial poll or two when I wanted to stir things up a bit.
 
DAY 18- Receiving backlash from leaving social media. People are creating the appearance that I am "missing out" or that I'm strange for not wanting to be connected via social network. Feeling less obligation to live up to "appearances" and censor myself because no one is actively critiquing/watching/archiving.
 
When in casual convo I was asked "Have you seen it on Facebook?" or "go to my page, it's on there". I would respond "Remember, I'm not on there anymore". I would usually get a sigh or exhale in response. Some would either find whatever video/photo they were referring to on their phones/ipads or just skip the subject altogether. However, I felt more freedom in my words. My verbal seemed to hold my weight because I knew it wouldn't float in cyberspace to haunt me later on in life, just via word of mouth if I was lucky. Ha.
 
DAY 21- To go 21 days without a thing means you have overcome the habit of it. I can vouch that this is true. I went from waking up and grabbing my phone to check Facebook first in the morning to maybe picking it up midday, every few days to check my social network notifications only to remember I have none. I am slightly regaining the desire to talk on the phone. Not to be a busy body but just to hear a voice. Just don't give me anything automated!!!
 
Self-explanatory. I put my social media crackpipe down and I didn't have the withdrawal jitters anymore. Go me! :-)
 
DAY 24- People who appeared to be genuinely concerned reached out during tragic/unsettling current events. For example, there was an issue on one of the metro trains and normally I would commute and take the train but due to furlough I was home. I received a few texts from people who had given me their number before I left Facebook. Noticing the need to solely rely on newspapers and news shows to get the latest news instead of logging on. Still feeling a little lonely but no real pressure to interact with anyone outside of my immediate friendships. Conversation in passing with associates is much shorter, no references to hot topics on social media.
 
DAY 31- I don't even get the urge to type in the Facebook website. I might glance and look at my husband's if he's logged on but that's in curiosity to see if the template has changed. No desire to activate my account again. I write more. Instead of looking for a consensus in a status, I have picked up interest in creative writing again.
 

Observations Overall:

While on social media network vacation I noticed the emphasis on numbers. I would hear people say "Oh, _________ unfollowed me! That's one less person". I noticed the emphasis on numbers of likes, followers, "friends". Social media is social in its way of quantity, not quality. This is not good quality social time spent but you definitely pass the time away. This reasoning and pressure to be followed, liked, and "friend-ed" made people expendable. Friendships or people you "know" become commodities, easier to replace because they essentially become one in a number.
 
 I had more of an opportunity to hear the opinion of the "ghost-follower". I didn't ask any questions but I would hear people say "Girl, go look at her page! Did you see that mess?!" or "I accidentally liked the status and had to un-like it so he wouldn't know I was on his page". So now we can show up in people's lives and not really be there. Ha. Could this be?! Legitimized stalking *gasp*.  We look and admire behind the glass, without a trace of our presence being left as evidence. Sneaky lil things we are. We peek and peer at people without them even noticing. Or do they notice? Have YOU ever noticed when you go to your Facebook profile and you look at your "friends" section you notice a group of six people? Well, these six people are not selected at random as one may think. Before I left Facebook to begin the actual premise of the study, I picked and prodded...dissected every aspect of Facebook. I was curious to know the inner workings. I talked to digital technicians who write algorithms like we inhale oxygen, effortlessly. One of them told me that this selected six people are chosen according to who you just interacted with, who was just on your page and whose page you frequent which means Facebook records the activity and creates a formula accordingly so their profile pictures will pop up in different picture slots. This made a lot of sense to me. I would wonder why people I haven't communicated with in ages would "randomly" pop on my page. They were ghost-following. I also talked to a good friend who also happens to be a government worker that was not furloughed during my study (lucky bum) who told me that Facebook is indeed used to confirm or deny character references for employment. So all my militant folks who swear that when entities outside of your friendslist and networks view your page it is an invasion of privacy, you might want to rethink your claim. Your Facebook page is not yours, it is public record and privy to archive by government agencies. You borrow that space to post your pictures and words. Though it is free to have a profile with them, it definitely costs you. Put up a questionable, anti-American phrase and see how quickly you lose your security clearance. I'm not making this stuff up. If it were not for anonymity during this "study" I would and could give you a legit name of a person that lost their GS-12 job because he and his friends wanted to re-inact scenes from the movie Hangover and post it for the world to see. Where is he now? Speaking out against lack of privacy on social media networks and exposes the truth within. Funny how activism is bred after we are victimized.
 
I didn't do this study to scare anyone, not to deter anyone from enjoying their life in HD but I urge you to really ask yourself why you are a member of social media. If you have valid answers and feel that it adds to your life, good for you. Put a gold star right smack in the middle of your forehead. If for some reason and by some chance you realize you have not a clue as to why you're on social media, delete and log-out.

I can say that I've always wanted to delve into this topic to look at the reasoning for social media's hold on so many people and why at one point and time I thought I couldn't live without a profile page. Well guess what. I'm livin'. 
 
Thanks for reading this ridiculously long article/case study/experiment/blog/rant thingy. Now back to your regularly scheduled social networking.
 
-Cam
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Ban who?? Bantu.

Let me just say that I'm not posting on this because the natural hair movement is hot right now. For people like myself that have always been natural, it's a breath of fresh air but I'm not posting to cater to a trend. Only to share info.
 
I can say that this push for natural hair has heightened aesthetic creativity and has made more styles/products available to people like myself.  YAY! There was a time that natural girls only had the press and curl.
...and some will debate you on whether you can still be called natural and use heat but I digress.
 
 
Behold, Le Bantu Knot/Twist:
 
*I did this on dry hair, wet hair makes the curls draw up a little more and I was going for an elongated curl*
1. Section off hair either in four squares or eight depending upon how full and curly you want your hair to be.
2. Apply a small amount of THIS
(or any other mousse/setting lotion of your choice) into your hands

3. Repeat the same as above with product from photo 2.
4. Two-strand twist, then twist hair into knot.
5. Stick bobbi pin in for hold.
 
...and you're done!

 
*please excuse my long chin and dry expression* :-p
 
I did this last night while watching tv, put a bandana on it then went to sleep. In the morning, I untwisted my hair. My hair would've curled better if the mousse had proper time to dry but I did this almost close to midnight and woke up at 5am. However, if you do yours earlier in the evening and sleep longer than I did (haha) then the mousse will have more time to do its job.
 
Try it and tell me how you like it!
<3 Cam

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Not your boyfriend...


Attention female friends:

 

I think there is some confusion here. Some of you talk to me and try to handle our friendship as if I were your dude. Let me help you out.


...I'm not. I am your FEMALE FRIEND. Therefore you cannot get in your feelings when I do/don’t do the following:

 

1.     Don't tell you ALL my plans. I don’t belong to you. I don’t owe you any type of explanation as to who I’m with and where I’m going. Whatever I share with you is privileged. If you see me in an IG or FB pic with another friend, don’t text me talkin’ bout “Oh, looks like y’all had fun”. What that really means is “Oh B*&$%, I know you didn’t just go to (insert location) with (insert other friend) and didn’t ask me though!!!” Don’t forget I know you, so I know what your sayings REALLY mean.  

2.     Don’t drop ALL my plans for you. I have a life and 80% of the time, yes, if my husband needs me, then I’m going to go with him or do whatever he requires. Don’t try to put me on the guilt trip for something I’m supposed to do. If you are my friend, you were there on 10/10/10 when I made these vows so don’t act surprised now. If you weren’t there then shame on you.

3.     Don’t feed your ego. That’s what the dudes are for I guess. They are supposed to shower you with all that cute mushy stuff and then seal it with the “D”. Don’t come around here fishing for compliments, you’ll get your feelings hurt every time. Now I’m comfortable with myself and am secure enough to pay compliments when I feel they are due and warranted. Just don’t stand on my forehead and ask me if I like your red bottoms.

4.     Keep quiet when you’re wrong. I’ve done that enough when I was a child and I don’t think I’m reverting back anytime soon. Now I have no problem trying to be as diplomatic as possible but the truth is the truth. The WMATA metro slogan says “See it, say it” right? Well, I’ll admit that I’m a product of my environment in that aspect. I’ve been riding the metro all my life and I feel like that slogan has resonated with me. If I see something I’m calling it out. Why? Because I’d rather spot it and keep you safe only to find out it’s just a bag than to keep ignore it and find out it’s a bomb. See what I did there? I invite you to do the same with me. I welcome it, honestly.

5.     Sugarcoating. Yeah soooooo, my husband is the baker (Shout out to BILLY BAKES LLC…don’t judge me, just buy cake). He has a way of just making life a little bit more palpable. That’s probably why God paired us up. He’s the sweet, introspective and patient one. I am not. I married a man that balances me out…and you should do the same. Don’t look for your me or other female friends to solely do that for you. I was not made to be your counterpart and I was not made to make you feel comfortable. I am your friend, I was made to make you better. Real friendships do that. We’re not always going to giggle and dance. We will cry and yell (Together and/or at each other), and you must understand that it’s all in a day’s work. Well a life’s work really. Just know that through it all I do love you. I promise I do. I can also promise that 99% of the time I wasn’t trying to be mean. If I’m blunt with you that means I care. When I don’t care, I say nothing at all. You should know I don’t like to waste words.

6.     Don’t have much to say to you. That does sound kind of mean. Hear me out though. It’s no slight to you. A lot of times I’m going through my own quiet storm and if I know I’m not in the mood or right head space to communicate with you effectively or respectfully then I’ll fall back. I love you enough to prevent offending you. There will be times I do it and I won’t catch it and I apologize but if I’m within my power to spare our friendship from hits…I will. My silence is my dozen yellow roses.


I listed all this to basically say that you cannot hold me to a standard that I was not made to carry out. I understand you want affection, attention, and all that cute stuff. I know because I’m a chick and I want all that too…but when you lack those things, don’t come to me to give it to you. You’ll set me up for failure and just get in your feelings. That’s what your man is for. He can better provide those things. I want those things for you and what I listed might help you to get the fortitude to go to him to get what you want.
 
No hard feelings,
Cam <3

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Pay Homage

 
 
The mixtape that is currently king in my earphones,
 hands down is Pay Homage by VA Pete.
 
I'm big on instrumental selection for mixtapes.
It's easy to pick the instrumental or sound that is current and that every other rapper is using on their tapes but VA Pete has chosen the songs that successfully highlight the intensity he achieves in his lyrics and tone.
 
He brings rap back to a time where hip-hop and rap were two different entities and you could dicipher the two. (Yes, there is a difference.)
 
Though a self-proclaimed hip-hop head, there are times I want to listen to rap.
Just raw bars full of emotion and hunger.
 
For those post-80s babies who swear that what they hear on the radio is rap and think they hear bars, they should listen to this and re-assess their opinion of genre.
Click the link at the top, get back to me and tell me what you think.
 
 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013





To the hurdles in my life, it’s fine if you want to stay there but I have places to go. I won’t even ask you to move. I know I can’t go around you if I plan to stay in my lane. I’ll get a running start and jump over with no plans of looking back. #LoloJones #getoverit #movingforward #addictedtopostitnotes

Tuesday, June 11, 2013





All this was during my meeting today. Don’t ask me what all this means I drew off of word association but remember NOTHING that was said. #doodle #sketch

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.

Eckhart Tolle (via lazyyogi)