What the F-Friendship

Friendship is no longer a real classification of human relationship/interaction for me. It is now a box that I use to put people in because there is nowhere else for them to go. It avoids delegation or responsibility and feeling…at the same time it is the rest stop on the way to love that you’ll never leave because it has really clean bathrooms that smell like pine and a convenient one-stop shop with the jumbo iced honeybuns that you enjoy so much. HA! If such a thing exists. Well, then I guess that’s the point…it doesn’t exist and to me…and right now, neither does friendship. 

Friendship was thought to be something where you get back what you put in. Something that required a bit of labor but rewarding nonetheless so it was entered with good intention and ethic. These days I’m starting to see that I’m more naive than I thought and that this “friendship” that I once believed in was only another subliminal form of propaganda. Friendship is the median between love and hate. I’d appreciate it if you just hate me or if you just love me. These days I’m gaining more respect for my enemies than my “friends”, at least they are definitive in their stance. So from now on I only have “lovers” and “haters”…no friends necessary. Thanking you in advance. 

Vernacular Vexation

Just a wee bit of a rant, maybe a pre-vent if you will. These are phrases/sayings that I don’t like. 

1. “You wanna…?” or “You feel like…?”- I have to explain the context of this one. If someone asks you to do something for them and they say “You wanna hand me that remote?” or “You feel like handing me that paper over there?” Last time I checked, I didn’t want to because if I did I would’ve initiated the question. What if I DIDN’T feel like handing it to you? Can I really say “no”? You’ve already put the pressure on me to do it. You just indebted me to doing your favor. You’re rude.


2. “Let me go”- Used in place of “bye” but usually more abrupt. Okay it is a little better than “bye”. It’s not as final. It just sounds like the person is like “Oh, I know it’s going to kill you that I have to go but I have something more important to do than to entertain your conversation”. AS IF! Walk on with your wack self. BYE! Hehe.


3. “In other words”- I’m sooooo guilty of this and I’m trying to stop myself from saying it. I use it if I feel like I’m being misunderstood which most of the time the person gets what I’m saying, I’m just not giving them enough credit of comprehension. Not that I think they’re dumb, I know that I can say a lot at once and be a little overwhelming. I feel like you should be articulate enough to get out your meaning in the first go round or be cognizant enough to think about what you’re going to say before you blurt it out so you shouldn’t need a follow up line to serve as your hype-man or disclaimer.


4. “No problem at all”- I say this too. It has become a common response to a delegated task, also associated in the workplace in modern office jargon. When I say it I really do mean that it’s not a burden to me and I don’t mind. However, some use it meaning the exact opposite and when you say it people assume you’re doing the same thing.  


5. “Oh I’m sorry”- No you’re not. That “Oh” just curtailed the chance of any real sympathy in regret of the grievance committed. In addition to that, you’re not “sorry”…you apologize. If it ever gets to the point where you really feel you are “sorry” then re-evaluate your worth, you might be under-appraised.

Ignited.

When I lived on campus I was enthralled with all things civil rights. I even had my chapter of NAACP’s number in my phone. Speed dial six to be exact and aptly titled too seeing as though biblically six is the number of man. Anyway, I think because I was immersed in the very things that my textbook spoke about. Being on such a diverse campus I didn’t have the luxury to not know what was going on and pretend like I did. My racial counterparts drove me and challenged me to know more and do more. Now that I’m at another school (an HBCU) I’ve noticed that that I’ve gotten numb to all things civil. Not dumb to them though. I still see and hear what’s going on but I don’t jump up and do things about it like I used to. This is not a reflection of the HBCU at all. It is a reflection of me. See, being a black woman on campus is not a rarity for me anymore so my plight has changed a bit. Well, so I thought.

Last night Troy Davis’ ruling convicted me. Initially, I was stunned and didn’t really react but later on that night I was restless. I sat up in my bed and looked over at my husband as he slept and something inside me said “…and that was one ruling, what makes you think YOUR Troy Davis is safe?”. Scared the hell out of me. Literally. After that I went into the other room and read some scriptures to try and settle my spirit. Lo and behold, I come across Psalm 10:1-18 (look it up, it’s too long to type). Reading that calmed me down for a bit…until I saw another interview with the mother of the police officer who Troy Davis was convicted of killing. Feeling the pain of losing her son you would think that her heart would go out to Troy Davis’ mother a little but no, the way she carried it she might as well have tied the syringe around Troy’s arm to initiate the injection. Needless to say by this point I turned off the TV. My vision was blurred I was so angry. I realized my anger would do nothing at this point. The innocent man was pronounced dead hours ago and while his soul soared, I was unsettled by a saddistic Judicial system. My anger would do nothing if I carried on like this. Troy Davis’ life was worth more than an emotion and I’d be a fool to confine his fight to just that. So instead of complaining and being bitter I am going back to the time where fighting for the rights of others was second nature to me. I can’t just sit back and shake my head about things anymore. I’d rather turn the direction of the heads of our government.

Anger turned activism.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain

Robert Frost

vintageblackglamour:

Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell sing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in 1967. h/t @NewBlackMan

airplaneguns:

* (by chant0m0)

A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson